Exposed....

My boss quit today and I felt almost like crying. The feeling was similar to the way I felt when my father left me in the hostel ten years ago. I've replaced him as the head of the team and I know I have a virtual hell waiting for me. At least when he was around he used to handle the other team members. I think that's one area I'm going to have a tough time with.

There is an accute shortage of people in the project and a lot of frustration. Attrition rate is very high and consequently higher load on the remaining people. It's a complicated module(they designed it that way!) and some people, even after two years, haven't grasped much. One of such is in my team. He was pouring out his frustration yesterday - it seems at 9 p.m my PL came and asked him to complete some task before leaving. We are almost growing inhuman.

Admin people have been kind enough to arrange for some Dasara celebrations but it only served to irritate me. It's almost funny when on one hand our PM sends a mail asking us to work over this long weekend and on the other, admin wants us to dress up some dolls for Dasara.

All about the weekend

The journey home and back this time was uneventful unlike the last one. The scars won't go easily and on the return journey I was more worried because Pappa was with me. His friend is directing a movie and Pappa and some other friends were invited for the shooting. I have no words to describe the road on the ghat section and at one point the bus rocked so violently that I woke up thinking there was another accident. Nothing happened, though.

On Saturday I took the kid to the airport because he loves airoplanes a lot. We missed one landing narrowly but got to watch a takeoff. At first the kid couldn't recognize the plane as he had always seen it in the sky. After seeing it take off, the first thing he said was that it closed the door!

When the kid says it's sunny or windy I wonder how he learnt it. I mean, one can't show the wind to kids but yet they perceive it. Now, whenever he asks for me or P or V, mother tells him that we have gone to the office. God knows what he thinks office is! What kind of impression would he have of the place people vanish into every now and then?

Pappa had a recording in All India Radio last week for a drama. After a very long time. Before TV came home, this programme used to be one of our favourites and Pappa used to be a part of most coming out of Mangalore station. I'll tune to Mangalore next month after a gap of about ten years. Don't know if I'll be able to enjoy it even now.

Mother is busy trying to save Mamata and family who have hit their worst financial phase. Bad luck really hounds people sometime. This time her invalid father was diagnosed with cancer and they are in huge debts. Mother is trying to get V to help them.

P is returning this weekend. I hope he gets some good work here.

Bits and pieces...

Today was quite a day and my eyes are begging for sleep. Went at 9:30 in the morning to the RTO to take the driving license test. I hadn't done any practice for one month and was sure that I wouldn't get through. But the test was much simpler than I had expected. It lasted only for 5 mins but there was three people inside the car telling me to do this and that and the inevitable happened. The inpector asked me to practice some more and come next week and I went to the office not knowing what to feel. Then in the evening I call up the driving school and they say that I've passed! God knows what they did!

Yesterday wasn't a good day as far as music was concerned. I didn't make any progress at all. Also, there are many new flute players who are eating up my time. I'll have to work harder at home.

While returning home yesterday, radio was on in the bus and I got to hear some of my songs that we used to sing in school.I hadn't heard them for at least 15 years but surprisingly I remembered them all. My lips automatically moved. For half an hour, Bangalore vanished and I was somewhere else, reduced traffic and cool breeze doing their bit.

I'm growing restless again. What do I want in life?

Monotony....

A week is over and it's almost as if nothing moved at all. Except for work, of course. All I remember about this week is going to the office at 9 and returning at 8:30. Today I have music classes and I don't know what to do, again! Last Sunday while returning from there I was so embarrassed that I had resolved to practice well everyday and come back to track. But just like my all other resolutions....I have to go and start off with my harmonium now. At this rate, I don't think I'll be able to learn any lesson!

Lage Raho Munnabhai!

Returned home just now after watching "Lage Raho Munnabhai". A good movie, a no-nonsense comedy. I think Hirani/Chopra are doing a good job taking us back to the good old days of clean comedies. Also, I may have been too impressed with the actors of "Munnabhai MBBS" that I was all set to like its sequel. I mean, Arshad Warsi has to just roll his eyes and I'll laugh! I may get a chance to watch it once more after P returns.

I think Innovative Theatre is a good place to watch a movie. Of course, the theatre is good but you know, you come out of the theatre and you'll be surrounded by such dirt, stench and a confusion of masses that it'll bring you immediately down to earth from the starry world. Actually, I like one more thing about the place - the planes taking off from the nearby airport look so good in the night!

While walking to the bus-stop, V's roommate S, who looks like a high-school kid, was in front of me and I had to control my impulse of holding her hand and bringing her to the side. Was wondering why the impulse came like that and remembered that I used to make Shab(similar height) cross the road holding her hand whenever we went out, mostly for movies. Those days were fun!

The kid has mugged up a song that my mother sings for him and he recited it over the phone yesterday. Sounded very cute and I almost laughed and cried at the same time.

A rainy day like never before...

Actually, am in no mood to write about my journey home last Friday. Today has been a day of no activity at all. I want to do some good work but I don't get to and I'm getting irritated everytime someone around discusses some functional issues. I may talk to my PM directly next week if it continues this way. Nevertheless, I'll write down all about last week because I may not do such crazy things(hopefully!) again in my life.

Last friday my bus was to leave from Station at 10:15 in the night and I hadn't left the office even at 6:30. At 7, when I made up my mind to start, I realised it was raining crazily. I wasn't very worried. I had almost packed my bag already and I could skip dinner. So I waited for the rain to subside and finally was out at 7:45. As expected, no auto was ready to come to my place and I was still cursing them when I opened my house at 8:10, feeling all dirty and wet. I was hesitant to take an auto alone to Majestic so waited for the bus which for some reason, didn't turn up till 9:10. Fine, so far so good. Eveything was looking right on course till we crossed Richmond Circle at 9:35. And then, things went all wrong. The traffic started crawling and finally came to a standstill till 10:10 and I started thinking about the possibilities of returning right from there. But my co-passengers gave me some hope saying that KSRTC generally considers requests for waiting if there is genuine reason so I called up the control room and pleaded with them to give me 15 mins. more. Actually, it was hardly enough. At 10:30, with rain contributing generously to the chaos, Majestic was nowhere in sight. I could resist no longer - I got down from the bus and started running towards the Station. I found many like me on the way. I was so desparate that I stopped a biker and asked him for a lift but the idiot didn't understand anything and sped off. (P will be wild with me if he reads this!). Finally, got an auto to drop me near the entrance and uh, I ran as if running for life, only to know that the bus had left just then. I was too exhausted even to cry. I've never seen Majestic that way before - as if the whole of Bangalore had camped there! I couldn't even return as it was too late and the thought struck me that if stayed right there I might as well catch the morning bus to Mangalore. But thankfully, I didn't have to do it. After being nagged by me every ten minutes, the TC found a place for me in 11:45 bus which started at 12:30. Bless the chap! The worst part was that the 10:35 bus hadn't arrived even when we left! I mean, had my ticket been for 10:35, I wouldn't have missed my bus at all, right?

The bottom line - I stretched my luck a little too far this time. Manage things better, especially when there is a long weekend.